Sarah Gilmartin – Dinner Party

Sarah Gilmartin – Dinner Party

It’s the anniversary the siblings spend together like every year. Kate has neatly prepared everything in her small apartment for her oldest brother Peter and the younger one Ray with his wife Liz. 16 years were not enough to get over the loss of her twin sister Elaine whom she remembers like yesterday. The atmosphere is tense and soon after dinner the guests leave, but Ray returns with a special present which sends Kate back in the time when she and Elaine were just kids, then teenagers and the fateful day of her death. Yet, it was not just this tragic event that made the family unhappy, even long time before, none of them did real lead the life they wanted and, seemingly, neither do they in the present.

I was a bit astonished about the novel, even though the title is “Dinner Party”, Sarah Gilmartin grants this only a brief chapter in the novel, however, it is the event that triggers the memories in Kate and explains how she became the lonely, highly obsessive woman we meet at the beginning. The author added a subtitle, “A Tragedy”, which is totally adequate in terms of the suffering and the sorrowful event the protagonist has to go through. Yet, I am not sure if the reader can feel something like a catharsis while reading. For me, it was a very sad novel showing the impact parents and the family constitution can have on a child and the adult he or she becomes.

Quite naturally, the young twin sisters have a strong bond and can understand each other without words. On their farm, they are far away from other kids and exposed to their mother’s moods. She comes from one of the best families and expects her kids to excel in their ascribed fields, Kate play the piano, for Elaine it is horse-riding. The older brothers have long been a disappointment for the mother, especially Peter with his plans to emigrate to the US. Becoming teenagers does not help the situation and the tensions between mother and father, but also between the two sisters become more and more obvious.

The protagonist is naturally the most striking character. Even as kids, she and Elaine have never been really equal. Elaine was to more extrovert and outgoing twin, she dictated for both of them what to do. From fear of her mother’s frequent outbursts, Kate quickly tries to become the diligent and obedient girl who does everything right. Also as a teenager, she does not rebel but she cannot get over the feeling of being the less loved daughter, the one who does not achieve what is expected from her, the one who can never do anything right. Controlling her feelings and emotions ultimately leads to an obsessive behaviour and when she has found something that is totally controllable, she quite naturally develops an eating disorder.

Dysfunctional relationships, a lack of love and positive support – the best ingredients to hinder a girl from becoming an emotionally stable and self-confident adult. The experiences of the young Kate reflect the problems she shows as an adult. She isn’t able to have a good relationship, she is much too insecure and, on the other hand, she never could get free of her mother and her impact on her feelings. A great character development which gives you also a lot of food for thought.

Alyssa Sheinmel – What Kind of Girl

Alyssa Sheinmel – What Kind of Girl

He hit her. Again. But this time, she cannot hide it under her clothes, her eye is visible to everybody in school and therefore Maya goes forward to their principal and tells her what Mike Parker, everybody’s darling and sports superstar, has done. Even though it is quite obvious and Maya has no reason to lie, questions like “maybe she provoked him?” and “maybe it was just an accident?” blame her for being the victim. The school is divided and so are the friends. Yet, not only Maya goes through a hard time, her formerly best friend Juniper does so, too, apart from feeling ashamed for not having been the friend Maya would have needed, her break-up with Tess combined with her psychological struggles already keep her mind busy. But this is something that needs action and that’s what Juniper’s parents educated her for: standing up for those who are in need.

I was immediately hooked by Alyssa Sheinmel’s novel, she brilliantly captivates Maya’s thoughts which oscillate between not wanting to be the victim but speaking out for her rights and being strong on the one hand, and feeling insecure about what happened, questioning herself, her own contribution to bringing her boyfriend so far as to hit her again and again on the other. She is young and even though she knows exactly what is right and what is wrong, emotions are not that easy and rarely only black and white.

Providing different perspectives also adds to underline the complexity of a topic which seems so easy to make an opinion about. At first, however, I was a bit confused by the headlines of the chapters which introduce the respective character talking, I first assumed that wide range of girls would be presented until I realised that it is just the two of them perceiving themselves in different roles depending on their mood.

Unfortunately, after a great start, the novel lost focus a bit for my liking. Of course, it is only natural that all teenagers have their own struggles, that none of them really lives a carefree life where all is perfect. Yet, it was a bit too much here: Maya and the violence, Juniper cutting herself and suffering from OCD, drugs abuse – adding too many big topics quite naturally lead to a very shallow and superficial treatment of all of them. Not only did the author miss the chance to provide some insight in the psychological background of each, she treats them like some small bruise that can easily be overcome by just being friends again with your BFF. Simply focussing on Maya and Juniper also did not seize the extent of such an accusation and what it really does to a small community like a school.

Nevertheless, a great read that I enjoyed and which provides some food for thought.

Holly Bourne – Am I Normal Yet?

Holly Bourne – Am I Normal Yet

Alles, was Evelyn, genannt Evie, möchte, ist normal sein. Zur Schule gehen, Freunde haben und zum ersten Mal einen Jungen küssen. Einmal wöchentlich geht sie noch zu ihr Therapeutin Sarah, ansonsten hat sie ihr Leben wieder gut im Griff. Die Medikamente kann sie langsam reduzieren und in Amber und Lottie findet sie am neuen College auch schnell zwei gute Freundinnen. Sie hat sogar ihr erstes Date, das jedoch etwas anders verläuft als gedacht. Auch das zweite ist eher ein Reinfall. Alles macht den Anschein als wenn Evie eine völlig durchschnittliche 16-Jährige wäre. Doch in ihrem Kopf rasen die Gedanken: kann sie ihren Freunden sagen, dass sie an OCD leidet und regelmäßige Panikattacken erleidet aus Angst, sich mit irgendwelchen Keimen zu infizieren? Nein, sie würden sicher nicht verstehen, weshalb sie permanent Desinfektionsmittel mit sich herumträgt und sie nur Glück hat, wenn sie bestimmte Dinge sechs Mal wiederholt. Die Therapie schlägt gut an und Evie kann zunehmend die Dosis reduzieren, doch sie merkt, dass ihre Gedanken sich zunehmend wieder stärker um ihr obsessives Verhalten drehen und ihr ein Rückfall droht. Aber der darf nicht kommen, sie will nicht versagen, sie will normal sein, daher darf niemand merken, wie schlecht es ihr tatsächlich geht.

Holly Bournes Roman hat zahlreiche Preise gewonnen und es auch auf die Shortlist unzähliger weiterer geschafft, was sich sehr leicht nachvollziehen lässt, denn es ist ihr gelungen ein Jugendbuch über eine psychische Erkrankung zu schreiben, das weder die Krankheit verharmlost, noch einfache Antworten gibt und dabei auch viele lustige Seiten aus dem Leben der Mädchen zeigt. Ihre Geschichte wirkt durch und durch authentisch und glaubwürdig, was sie nicht nur wegen der Thematik aus der Masse der Coming-of-Age-Romane abhebt.

Es ist vor allem die junge Protagonistin und Erzählerin, die die Geschichte trägt. Evie ist einerseits völlig normal und ist mit den Dingen beschäftigt, die Gleichaltrige ebenso umtreiben: Freundschaften, erste Liebe, Schule und die Familie. Sie ist nicht nur ihre Krankheit, auch wenn diese regelmäßig in ihr Leben eingreift und es verkompliziert. Vor allem die Sorge, als „gestört“ abgestempelt zu werden, hält sie davon ab, offen mit ihrer Situation umzugehen. Ein Erlebnis mit einem Klassenkameraden, der ebenfalls an Angststörungen leidet, scheint auch zu unterstreichen, dass trotz aller Fortschritte der Gesellschaft in den letzten Jahren psychische Erkrankungen ein Stigma bleiben.

Sehr gut gelungen ist der Autorin auch, den Club der der Freundinnen zum einen sehr unterschiedlich zu gestalten und sie zum anderen mit essentiellen Fragen nach der Rolle von Frauen und Mädchen auseinandersetzen zu lassen: welche widersprüchlichen Erwartungen haben Jungs an sie und inwieweit wollen sie gefallen und sich selbst und ihre Ideale dafür hintenanstellen. Es kommt tatsächlich etwas unerwartet, die Feminismus-Debatte in einem Jugendbuch zu finden, aber es wirkt weder gezwungen noch wäre es unpassend, denn die Mädchen finden in ihrem Alltag bereits unzählige Beispiele für kritische Situationen, in denen junge Frauen offenkundig benachteiligt werden und dies zum Teil auch selbst fördern und aufrechterhalten. Auch diese Diskussionen werden völlig altersgemäß und aus dem Blick von 16-Jährigen geführt.

Der Originaltitel des Buches „Am I Normal Yet“ geht noch etwas offensiver an die Thematik als der deutsche „Spinster Girls- Was ist schon normal?“, was ich eigentlich besser finde. Ein rundherum gelungener Roman, der nicht nur jugendliche Leser überzeugen dürfte.